December 2, 2008


There are millions of galaxies circling millions of planets circling one point and that point is not you!

PETA - People for The Eating of Tasty Animals!

There is room for all God's creatures...right next to my mashed potatoes!

Wiggleworms, Wiggleworms! ~Larry the Cable Guy

Which country has the longest border along the US - Canada or Mexico? Mexico (answer of some dumb bimbo on 'Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?')

Stress = The confusion created when ones mind overrides the body's desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it!

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil...

I have criteria for what is and is not a dog.
Here is what is not a dog:
Anything that bounces when it barks - not a dog.
Anything I can easily drop kick over my back fence - not a dog.
Anything that is easily terrified by a running leaf - it’s not a dog it’s a yapping beanie baby that’s what that is.
It’s the Richard Simmons of canines, that’s all i’m saying.

Holy crap on a cracker. ~Penny from Big Bang Theory

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